Saturday, March 12, 2011

How to move forward....

Since finding out that we could not accept the referral of the beautiful baby girl because I am not 30, I have really struggled with how to move forward. Do I continue to look at her beautiful face everyday and fall deeper and deeper in love with her? Do I continue to show her off to strangers, friends, and family? Do we celebrate her birthday on April 24th? Or do I try to forget her, put her photo away and try not to think about her anymore. WHAT DO I DO????

My friend Jen gave me some really awesome advice that I believe is straight from the heart of God. She said that I am in a situation similar to a women that carries a baby in her womb only to find out she miscarried or that the child is sick and may not survive past birth. Now let me stop here and say I in no way am comparing my hurt to the death of child or implying that I am experiencing the same kind of grief of that of a mom who has held her still born child. But what Jen said and what I think is right is that God has given me THIS baby girl, whether that be only during this two month wait or whether that be as her forever family. She is mine for now. I am to love her, hurt for her and celebrate her for however long God sees fit. We will celebrate her birthday on April 24th and I will continue to show her off to anyone and everyone who cares to look at her beautiful face.

4 comments:

beckypreynolds said...

Thats a really good way of looking at it. I think you are exactly right. Thinking of you guys as you go through this process.

Mary said...

Praising God for giving your friend Jen such wisdom and insight. Praying...

Amy G said...

God has placed that precious child in your life for a reason, and possibly for only a season. I am so glad that you are choosing to take the path that you chose - to continue to keep her in your life until God says otherwise. You and your sweet family are in my prayers, and that includes "her."- Amy G.

Lara said...

One adoptive mom to another...don't discount your pain. It is real. It hurts so deeply.

Your family and your blog were passed along to me so that I could join in praying for you and following your journey by your friend A. G.

Our family consists of four homegrown kiddos and two made in China. Our adoption journeys have been great adventures in faith and learning to trust God's direction even when I couldn't see His plan.

While waiting to find our first adopted daughter, we lost or said no to three other girls. I wept and cried and prayed over these girls. God has blessed me greatly by allowing me to follow them home to their forever families. Each one is still precious to me, though they are not my daughters.

Pray for this child. Love her. Pray for God to bring her home to her family...and be willing to accept His will if that is not your home.

Due to paperwork stuff, we couldn't directly ask for our first daughter's file and needed special permission from the CCAA to adopt her from the shared list. Her file was removed from the list and disappeared for two months while we waited. Two months feels like an eternity! But if this is the daughter God has planned for you, she will be waiting for you in May.

Sorry for the long comment. I just hoped to encourage you. I will be praying...know that you are not alone.

Lara