Friday, March 9, 2012

WARNING: You Might Get Offended

In the past six years I have had woman after woman say something along the lines of this to me, "I would LOVE to adopt, but my husband is not on board." Do you know what I don't say, but really want to? "I am sorry you married a WIMP!!" My second thought is more along the lines of the 140 million children that will never have someone hold and kiss them and tell them they are special and God made them. My mind wanders to the young Ukrainian girl who will age out and turn to prostitution to support herself. Or the 10 year old Bulgarian girl whose hair is cut to make her look like a boy for fear she will be kidnapped and sold into the sex trade industry. I think of the 13 year old boy who is only 2 or so years from aging out who will likely become a criminal or commit suicide by the time he turns 18. I think about the baby girl in China who is developmentally delayed and she will likely lay on a mattress on the floor today and someone will eventually walk by and hand her bottle and leave again.

Then, of course, I can almost always count on these to be the next words out of her (you know the women I mentioned earlier) mouth, "It's the money, he can't imagine where we could get that kind of money and we wouldn't want to go into debt to adopt" And I always have to bite my tongue as I look outside and see a beautiful, almost new SUV or mini van sitting outside that this picture perfect family just climbed of and I think REALLY??? So, you either just had $20,000 to $30,000 just sitting in savings or you have put this automobile on a several year payment plan. So, we (citizens of the US) will go into debt for an automobile that will depreciate and die, but won't even think about doing that "for the least of these"? I DON'T GET IT....SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME???

My final thoughts: I am SOOO glad I didn't marry a wimp!


Gary and Tina Bell said...


Anonymous said...

Not offended...but I think I am this woman. If we could adopt again, I'm on board! But I can't make my husband change. All prayers in that area are appreciated :) What I CAN do is support others in their quest to give these children the families, health care, love, and support that they deserve. I totally understand your frustration.... If you have any constructive ways to bring about change in a more than reluctant husband, I'd love to hear them!

The Rogers Family said...

The only advice I have is to pray. If you have already adopted, but still have a burden for orphans, perhaps you could help them in other ways other than adoption, like you mentioned. Once my children are older, perhaps grown, I would love to work at an adoption agency and/or travel to different orphanages and volunteer.

I would also make sure you are in a Bible believing, Christ focused church. Because if you are, adoption should come up in sermons (it is all over the Bible) and people will be adopting.

The Kerr Family said...

My mind thinks a bit like yours. :)If you guys would pray for us in a big way, we are suddenly, unexpectedly (dare I say unfortunately due to our loss of Brandon?) in a position where we feel the burden to adopt (again). This time not just my wimpy husband, but I am saying we don't want to finance again. We haven't even paid off Brandon's. We don't drive new cars or live outside our means. We just need wisdom in the area of timing. Why must God call US to adopt? We already did. Someone else can take their turn....Nope. That doesn't fly with God. He wants US to adopt AGAIN. :/ Thanks for posting this. Thanks for the prayers.

Jodi said...

Adopting is taking a huge step of faith, especially internationally. And it's expensive. There are many reasons to "excuse yourself" from that calling, but if you are listening to God, He will lead to you to it. Trusting Him to give you the child that you are meant to have, and getting it all paid for when you don't have that money sitting in your account is tough stuff! My feeling is that people don't adopt because of their lack of faith.

Mary Jane Postiglione said...

Amen sister! Can I share this on my blog one day in the future? Exactly my thoughts! I hear that all the time we can't afford it and I tell them neither can I but the Lord will provide. We fund raised and applied for grants on this adoption and we are bringing home our 2nd child in 2 years!